Solid Models of Influence

A few weeks ago, my dad and I went out to Bonneville Seabase to get dry suit certified. On the hour and a half drive there, instead of listening to the usual talk radio that we do that either gets us discussing politics or puts me to sleep, (usually the latter) he put in a book on tape called Living the Seven Habits by Stephen R. Covey. This book is a sequel to his very popular book called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. This book overturned some secret interest I have in sociology that rarely gets exposure. And as such, I am making it a point to continue the book. There is a chapter however that I found so interesting that it was very well blog-worthy.

Covey starts drawing a visual of a pyramid which he calls “The Pyramid of Influence” that looks something like this. (I apologize, my Microsoft paint skills are extremely limited.)

I find it prophetic that this is exactly how the church tells us to do missionary work, the first step being example. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints does not tell us Member Missionaries to go door to door asking our neighbors if we can give them the first discussion. We would grow a notorious reputation alarmingly fast if we did. Rather, they tell us to lead by example. No matter how hard someone’s heart is, they cannot help but be touched by someone’s example, whether they outwardly admit it or not. Leading by example is the base of which any other influence is conceived. This level of the pyramid builds our credibility and trustworthiness as a church. As people see how we act, it will spark an interest on why we do the things we do.

The second level is the relationship. In an earlier chapter Covey states “When the level of trust is high, communication become easy, effortless, and efficient”. A level of trust needs to be established if we are to ever persuade anyone to come unto Christ. They need to understand we truly care for their well –being and want them to be happy. Coming from a high school standpoint, you will constantly see people who just need a friend. That is all they want. I love the TV show Monk, and there is a particular episode in the 5th season where someone supposedly is genuine about being Monks friend. (Turns out it was all part of a big plot to kill him.) But Monk was so ecstatic to see someone so interested! All through high school he had been a loner and said (though it was comical at the time, it sent a strong message to me) “If only I had had one friend…that would’ve made all the difference”. That is such a tragic thing when people can look back over years of time and not remember a single genuine friend. But I can only imagine the influence that single friend could have if they had taken the opportunity to build a relationship with this individual.

The last level is, of course, teach. It is natural and logical for people to have the attitude “I don’t care how much you know, until I know how much you care.” That just makes sense. As a member of the church how will we ever expect people to let us teach them what we know, until we show them how much we truly care for their well being? I have found this to be the most defining characteristic between high school teachers and seminary teachers. High school teachers will have science or cultural acceptance on their side. They don’t care if you argue their points, because they know they are right. And no matter how much you fight it, you cannot change certain socially accepted norms. But the gospel is not like that. As it is based on faith, there needs to be an influence that has risen above logic or social acceptance. I believe that is why seminary teachers spend so much time and energy building the base of example, and strong relationships with each student individually. And it truly works!

Covey ends this chapter with an eye-opening statement. “You cannot talk yourself out of problems you’ve behaved yourself into”. We’ve always heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words”. But as a member of the church, our actions speak not solely for ourselves, but for the entire church! That is why it’s so important we all pave ways of solid examples for the world to see. That is why each membership in the church is so important. So I pray I will be able to be an example of righteousness to the world. There is way too much negative media about the Church. We can’t afford a single member to assume that people don’t notice. I pray I can always have the strength to be that solid example for the church, to help continue to build the churches growing influence in this increasingly dark world.